Parents are the ones best positioned to shape their children’s attitudes from the day of birth. While they have little control over this twisted, violent and porn saturated society, they can seize every opportunity to train and equip them to treasure what is beautiful, holy and sacred. Their bodies and minds, – temples of the Holy Spirit no less! – and their sexuality are precisely that: beautiful, holy and sacred. Every attempt to prevent exposure to pornography is worth the effort. Such images invariably leave a lasting negative impression. Confusion, shame, and fear can easily become a noose around the child’s soul.
However, for parents it is very unsettling to learn about their child’s exposure or enmeshment with porn. By God’s grace, courageous parents lead their youngsters back towards freedom.
There are three steps parents can take if they discover that their son or daughter is into pornography. First, delay your initial reaction and intervention. Allow yourself to sort out your own feelings of shock and revulsion. Parenting is done much better when you are calm and in control of yourself. While you may feel like grounding your child for a year, or taking away internet privileges for two years, this kind of reactive punishment is not helpful to set the stage for the many necessary conversations that need to follow. Second, plan a number of counselling or strategizing sessions to determine next steps, both short and long term. Consider the impact of the reality of porn exposure on the whole family unit. How will you go about disclosing it to your spouse, your other children, and extended family members and friends? Finally, find encouragement in the reality that the struggle with porn is a battle that can be won in the context of a supportive and understanding family unit. Luke Gilkerson (2010) explains:
“Paul calls out to Timothy to run from, run to and run with: “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” – 2 Timothy 2:22, (NLT)
- Run From
“So flee youthful passions”
“Passions” refer to our cravings, our longings, our desires. More specifically the passage speaks of “youthful passions.” These fleshly lusts are said to “wage war against the soul” (1 Peter 2:11). …We must run from these things. Every Christian, even though he or she is indwelt by the Spirit of Christ, still lives in a mortal body surrounded by worldly amusements.
- Run To
“. . . pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace”
It is not enough to flee from youthful lusts. We must run towards a new passion. We are to “pursue,” that is, eagerly and swiftly run toward Christlikeness.
- Run With
“. . . along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
We must not only run from lust and toward God’s vision for our lives, we must also run with our brothers and sisters with the same vision. We must all find companions for this stretch of the road, those who share our faith and convictions, those in the common struggle for holiness.”
Heres Snijder, B. Ed., MA, RCC
Contract Counsellor, CCCA
Reference:
Gilkerson, L. (2010). 3 Biblical strategies for fighting lust. Covenant Eyes. Retrieved from http://www.covenanteyes.com/2010/05/13/3-biblical-strategies-for-fighting-lust/